Saturday, August 16, 2008

Judgments

The more I wander around the blogs and bulletin boards of people in the BDSM lifestyle the more I am stunned at the judgments people hold. There are so many variations on these types of relationships, I haven’t read about one that is the same. They have different rules, different Doms/Masters and while I would consider some peoples relationships too extreme for me as long as their lives are not at risk I say who am I to judge.

It bewilders me that people will post comments blasting others about how their relationships aren’t real or that their Master’s have no respect or love for them. Who are we to judge anyone? If you aren’t in the relationship how do you know that for fact?

What people write in their blogs or posts is just a small snippet of their whole life, they might leave out facts, they may only write about things that bug them or they may only write about the good times. Unless we know the person in RL it would be hard to say one way or another whether their relationship was disrespectful or damaging. And even then since we aren’t in it we can really only express our concern and our love for the other person and move on.

In a world where we are judged by so many I find it sad that so many in this lifestyle are pointing the finger and judging others.

Sorry for the rant I was just so upset at someone’s comments on another blog I couldn’t contain myself.

5 comments:

Charli said...

I whole heartedly agree! This has bothered me for quite some time; you would think that people who are (supposedly) in this lifestyle would be a little more open minded, tolerant and progressive in their thinking than "normal" folk....well, I would like to think so anyway. It is, however, often far from the truth. The ironic thing is that I buried this submissive side of myself for many years for just this reason, so that I would not be judged by my non-mainstream way of thinking.....oh well.

Masters slave said...

I was just getting so upset by all the negativity I had to let some of it go. Maybe I can give others some food for thought.

Ms

persephone said...

ms, as you know i have great appreciation for your perspective! obviously the words that you wrote here apply to all of us, but i feel touched that you got riled up from reading about my latest onslaught.

sometimes i wonder if those instances are not a judgment of the relationship at all, and instead are actually expressions of jealousy or even just insecurity on the part of the poster.

Masters slave said...

They may stem from insecurity or jealousy but they are still judgments. I find it hard to understand why when we are in a life that is so misunderstood by mainstream society people feel the need to try to pigeon hole us into some mold. Everyone experiences things in a different way we should be more accepting on it.

MJ's Slave said...

i do have to agree with persephone..i truly think the negativity is more a reflection on the critic than on whatever they choose to comment about.

W/we have had few negative comments, but also i tend to write more for MJ or myself, so maybe it's just not that interesting. Recently an anonymous person left a strange comment attacking my intelligence and MJ's upbringing..i think??! And i felt it necessary to reply, but for the most part when i read these things, i try to look at it as if it is all about the poster, not the blog.

All that i come across have either cautions or come up behind the warning screen and certainly have that little red "X" in the corner..i wonder what prompts someone to read something they are offended by??

Life is too short and time too limited to waste time on fools. If they don't "get it" all the defense and explanation in the world isn't going to make them understand.

Maybe we should all add a caution that our posts capture a tiny moment in time in a life and what is posted may, by virtue of finding a voice, have changed the state of the blogger before they hit "publish". i don't have time to go back and do the follow up i sometimes wish i could, as i know that many read MJ's blog regularly, but i do try to say the purpose and intent of the blog often enough for regular readers to know it's primarily a method for me to manage my internal feelings/struggles with accepting 24/7 slavery and service.

If it were always easy to understand, there would be no need for the blog!! i always appreciate constructive comments..just the thought that someone else might be having the same thoughts, feelings, and struggles is helpful.

Thank you for sharing your journey. You write beautifully.

~MJ's slave nik