Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Holiday Wishes

I wanted to stop by and say thank you to all of you who have written to me making sure that I am okay. I am doing fine, life has just been very busy. I have been out of the country and involved in a very big project overseas so I have not had a lot of free time to write lately. I do think of you and this blog often and feel sad that I've neglected it. Hopefully soon I will be back to writing and expressing myself. I know I've said that before and each time I truly mean it, maybe this time it will actually happen.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful holiday season, and a joyous new year. May it be filled with erotic dreams and fantasies and may all your kinky wishes come true.

Peace to all, love to all!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

A long time gone....

Geez it's been a long time since I've sat at this computer. It seems the summer just slipped right on by. I've spent the last few hours catching up on blogs and reading about what has changed and what has not. For some there have been big momentous events and their lives are evolving others it seems are still on the same merry-go-round. Then again I often feel that way about my life as well same crap different day. Work has been all consuming as well as life. I'm not sure what direction I'm headed at the moment. I was in a huge slump not really sure which way it was going to go but it seems like it is starting to head in a good direction. So I'll keep my fingers crossed and hang on.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Hiatus

Forgive me readers, I know I have been absent. There have been weddings, funerals, sickness, graduations, great adventurous trips etc that have all piled up in a matter of only a few months. Luckily I am starting to see light at the end of the tunnel.

I can feel my creative juices starting to flow again. Little ideas that percolate in my head itching to get out. I'm not sure when but I will be back to share more of what my life and mind hold.

In the meantime I hope you are enjoying your summer, getting out there and experiencing the warm sunshine which there has been not nearly enough of. Or the cool rain that seems to endlessly fall around here. I stopped being miserable about the rain and have decided to embrace it. Standing in it letting it fall upon my face, feeling it soak through my clothing making it stick and cling to my body, the cool air creating goosebumps on my flesh. Feeling the sensuality of it as it kisses and slides down my body.

So go jump in a puddle, or roll down a grassy hill, go for a walk in a stream, do something childish and fun and remember what this life is supposed to be about. Experience, feel, live, we take life way too seriously most of the time. Embrace your inner child and be wild, youthful and fun. Until later....

Friday, April 24, 2009

Changes

There seems to be a lot of changes going on with people lately. I've been reading some other blogs and it seems that many people are renegotiating their relationships. Maybe it's the spring and time for renewal and the time people use to reevaluate or clean house so to speak. Who knows but its nice to see that people aren't just stagnant and staying in something because they feel they have to or holding on to a dynamic that isn't working for them any longer.

I applaud those people whose relationships are more important to them than how people will percieve them. As people evolve so do relationships. I think most bdsm relationships go through evolution. They change, waxing and waning as things come up, stress and family. It's hard to maintain a M/s relationship at all times. I think this is where the whole 24/7 argument comes in. Some believe you have to maintain the outward appearance of the M/s dynamic at all times, to me that's just not realistic. I will argue with Master get snitty and sarcastic, maybe even appear to be telling him what to do, but I also know when to back off (well usually sometimes I don't and then I get that real strict tone that reminds me to tone it down). Does this not make me a "real" slave. Who knows and really who cares. Master and I are the ones in this relationship and our definitions are what run it, not anyone elses.

I've always said that I think the M/s dynamic is more of a head game. Its how you feel. I don't need a physical collar around my neck 24/7 to know that I belong to Master. Apart, together it doesn't matter there is a connection. There were times where we were not each other's primary partners, but even then there was an undeniable bond that placed me at his feet. I know that sounds strange and is hard for most people to understand because we live in a monogomous society. I can't explain it, not sure I want to, or feel the need to. Its just the way it is for us.

So to those people who are going through growing pains, I say do what is best for you. I for one won't judge your decisions and hope you keep on writing.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

MIA

Life has been super busy lately. I haven't forgotten all of you. I will be posting some new fun things in the next few days. Thank you for the e-mails. Things are fine, life has just been a bit hectic.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Anger


What does a slave do when she gets angry?

I have a temper I'm the first to admit it. When I get angry I get loud, and lash out. If I get very angry I explode. Its as if something comes over me and I can't quite get a grip on it until it has passed through my system. Its a problem. One that I have been working on for many years and while I have curbed it and can control it to a point once its reached that point I lose control.

Luckily Master and I don't live together and he hasn't witnessed that major melt down. We do like to debate though so he knows when he gets me riled up I get louder, more passionate about my point and more frustrated when I feel that I'm not being heard. That's when he dispassionately and in that no nonsense voices tells me to calm down. Which often doesn't work particularly the first time because that just annoys me more. Eventually I just huff and stop talking all together. Stewing to myself. Then we either have to switch topics or I need to wander away before I feel that crazy meter start to rise.

But those are just silly little debates they aren't things more personal to our relationship. We haven't really had a fight. I've been upset, we've talked and things moved on but I've never been angry, well at least not toward him. So what is a slave with a temper to do? Its not an easy thing to deal with in a vanilla relationship. As I've said, I get myself in trouble all the time when it comes to passionate debates, I get frustrated and I curse, which is a big no-no, then I get more frustrated because I know I'm breaking rules and yet I still feel like I'm not getting my point across. I can't imagine what would happen if it was something that was personal to me, actually I can imagine and it wouldn't be pretty.

Master has a temper himself, although it is rarely seen, and I can honestly say I've never seen it it full out, but I can see his frustration rise. I often wonder what would happen if our tempers both flared at the same time. WWIII is what I imagine. I guess its lucky we've never found ourselves in that situation. In the meantime I guess I just keep working, trying to find ways to keep my crazy meter from rising too much and not let the emotion overtake the reasoning side of my brain. Easier said than done I know.

Friday, March 13, 2009

An offering

I kneel naked at your feet.

My back is straight,

my knees spread,

hands behind my back.

My head is tilted to the side and bent back exposing my throat.

My breasts rise and fall with my breath,

my nipples are tight peaks,

wetness forms between my legs.

Goosebumps cover my flesh

not from being cold but the anticipation of what is to come.

I wait, vulnerable, submissive, an offering.

I am yours.