When its about Submission

(Master felt that this post deserved a real photo of his slave performing her favorite service)

At the beginning of August I wrote a post called Challenging Tasks where I wrote about how Master often orders me to just stay still when he is inside me, whether it is my pussy, my ass or my mouth. Holding still is like torture to me. I pout, I whine, and sometimes I just can’t do it, which is usually when I get restrained.

Holding Master in my mouth for longer than 2 minutes without getting twitchy and irritated has been even more difficult for me than when Master’s cock is impaled in my pussy and I feel a strong desire to come. I don’t know why, maybe it’s my love of oral sex but something about this task finally clicked with me this weekend. This task is more about submission than it is about sucking cock! Brilliant you say, how long did it take me to figure this one out? Well too long, I guess I was taking the whole thing too literal and not reading between the lines so to speak. It might have been easier had Master just told me this was the point of the task but I guess that would have been defeating the purpose, or maybe he did but it didn’t register because it didn’t make sense to me until that moment.

To hold Master in my mouth without much active cock sucking always made me feel like it was a pointless task. I’m a doer, give me a project and I get it done, I like to see results, but this didn’t seem to have a point and it made me crazy. This weekend the light bulb finally went off and I finally understood. It’s not about the results, or rather it is but the result wasn’t what I thought it was. It wasn’t about orgasm or having Master lovingly come down my throat, it was about submission; letting go of the need for there to be a result and just performing the task to the best of my ability. When I finally let go of thinking about how irritatingly pointless it was and how much more entertaining it would be to be moving, swirling my tongue around his cock, feeling the smooth firmness of him slide in and ….okay well you see my point.

When I let go and just focused on holding him while he read the paper. Occasionally I would have to move a bit running my tongue up and down sliding him out of my mouth until just the tip was between my lips and then all the way back down so he was buried deep in my throat, the temptation was too much. But I didn’t feel like I was on a mission when I was doing it this time, it was slower and more serene and I found myself relaxing and releasing the need for it to be any different than what it was. It was still pleasurable but in a different way, almost meditative. My mind quieted and I felt peace. It wasn’t until Master told me that I had been at this for almost 30 minutes that I was shocked.

I went from not being able to hold still for more than 2 minutes to doing it for 30! I couldn’t believe that was possible and that’s when it clicked. I had finally surrendered. I stopped struggling and gave up my need for control and embraced submission and it was blissful.