Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Discipline can be Erotic

Discipline can be very erotic. It has such a negative connotation but sometimes it’s almost like positive reinforcement. Master often mixes the correct behavior in with a discipline that turns me on and I often find the experiences to be quite arousing.

For instance I am still having some trouble with my verbal communication skills. I will get so wrapped up that I forget to verbally respond to Master and just shake my head yes or no. This was a recurring problem this past weekend and seemed only to be an issue when Master was filling my mouth with his cock. I'm not allowed to answer with words, just a sort of "mmhmm"(yes) or "mmm mm" (no). But the other day it was like I was mute.

We were lying in bed, Master was watching the news and I was curled up next to him, his cock in my mouth and he was asking me something. I responded by shaking my head which didn't please him, so he decided I needed a spanking. In between the stinging slaps on my ass Master would reach down and spread my pussy, exposing me, making me embarrassed and aroused at the same time. Sometimes he would just hold me like that, other times he would open me and gaze at my exposed pussy making me squirm. You’d think I’d be over this by now, I mean geez its not like he hasn’t seen my pussy before, I don’t know why this is so different, maybe because it seems so naughty and vulnerable. Either way it makes me wet. I was ordered to continue to suck cock while he spanked and exposed me, asking me questions about this or that, making sure I answered correctly even though I had my mouth full.

I love being spanked and this spanking was particularly hard making it that much more arousing and erotic to me. I'm sure my squirms, wiggles and moans were spurring the slaps to be harder, although Master was in a much more intense mood the other day and everything seemed harder, deeper, and rougher, it was heavenly but that’s a different topic.

When he felt I had learned my lesson he made me sit up, and look at him, which was hard to do because I was so embarrassed by how turned on I was by the whole thing (its one of those weird internal voices that says its got to be wrong to be that turned on by what just happened). Then he had me explain what I had just learned and what was expected of me.

It was in this discussion that I found the key that will ensure my compliance, understanding. If a rule makes sense to me its easier to follow. Not all rules make sense all the time, but this one finally did! I'm not sure how I missed it before but I’m glad I picked it up through my hazy fog of desire. Master loves to hear me moan and mumble when my mouth is full, it turns him on. Duh! Now why didn't I realize that to begin with? Sometimes I can be a little ditzy. Having this knowledge makes me more conscious of answering now, because I love turning him on. I still might get lost in the moment but I think it’s now more a part of my subconscious because it makes sense and allows me to please him which is always my goal.

After our discussion he held me, while I buried my head in his shoulder, still feeling a bit embarrassed by my reaction. Master had his arms wrapped around me, his cool hands softly stroking my burning flesh, arousing me even further, setting the rest of me on fire. Eventually, when it pleased him, he doused the flames allowing me to come in a shudder of ecstasy.

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