Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Hard Lessons (part 1 of 3)

This is a work of fiction......

I lay curled up on the bed, my body wrapped around his pillow inhaling his scent. Tears streamed down my face. Life had not been so easy lately. Work is consuming me. I am completely stressed out and it is spilling into our personal life. I am staying longer at the office, and when I'm not there I am glued to my computer or phone. My patience has worn thin and I am being short tempered and bratty with everyone around me including Master. I can see the strain this is taking on our relationship. He is spending more time out, I will often come home to hear him in the basement training another slave and he hasn’t used me in weeks. Today I came home from work to a note telling me to wait for him in the bedroom, that there were things we needed to discuss.

I was terrified. Did Master find a new slave to take my place? Was he so fed up with my behavior that he was going to release me? I knew I hadn’t been an obedient slave recently; in fact I had been the exact opposite.

I had been lectured and punished more in the last few weeks than I had in the last 2 years. I knew it couldn’t go on like this forever but I wasn’t sure what to do about it.

I heard Master downstairs; my heart started beating even faster. I wasn’t ready for this, I didn’t want to face him, didn’t want to hear what he had to say. I heard the door open and Masters footsteps as he came in the room and sat down in the chair across from the bed.

“Come here slave.” He said.

I looked up at him over the pillow tears staining my cheeks and slowly unwound my body from his pillow and walked across the room to him. I stood before him, my head lowered tears continuing to run down my face.

"Strip and kneel."

I nodded my head in understanding and started to undress. My hands were shaking and my stomach was in knots. I folded my clothes, put them on the bed and walked back over to kneel at his feet.

“We have a problem.” He said and reached out to touch the collar around my neck.

As his fingers brushed the lock at my throat a cry escaped my lips, my body bent forward my head touching his knee, “Please Master, I’m sorry, I know I’ve been a bad slave I don’t know what’s wrong, please don’t release me.” I gasped between sobs.

I felt his hands on my face trying to get me to look at him, but I wouldn’t lift my head. I didn’t want to see his face; see the disappointment, the anger. His hand wrapped tightly in my hair and he forced my head back so I was looking at him. What I saw there was something unexpected, surprise.

Keeping his tight grip on my hair, he cupped the side of my face with his other hand brushing my tears away with his thumb. “Silly slave, I have no intention of releasing you, but things are going to change. I cannot allow this behavior to continue and it is obvious the methods I have been using to correct your behavior are not working. You have been working too much, you are overwhelmed and it is affecting not only you but me and its not going to continue. Do you understand?”

“Yes Master.” I said. Relief that he wasn’t going to release me flooded my body, the tears continued but the emotions behind them changed.

“As of right now you are going back to your normal 9-5 hours, you are not allowed to do any work from home for at least a week. I will reevaluate this stipulation week by week. I might allow you to work for one hour in the evening but it will depend on how things are going. There will be no calls after 5pm. Your blackberry is to be relinquished to me when you get home. I will monitor it and if there is something truly urgent I will allow you to take the call. You will get back to your yoga and meditation practice at least 3 times a week no exceptions. I will not continue to allow your work to interfere with our personal lives.”

I sat there my tears gone, my mouth slightly open. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “But Master there is so much to get done. This project is very important, it won’t go on forever but I have a time window in which the work needs to be completed. I can’t possibly get it completed without putting in extra hours. Why are you doing this? If I don’t get this done it could ruin me.” I whined.

“I’m sorry slave but I have no other choice. You are running yourself into the ground. There is no balance in your life and you are turning our home life upside down. I can’t allow it any longer. I shouldn’t have allowed it to continue as long as it did. I was hoping that you would be able to find some balance on your own but you are too wrapped up in it and not seeing things clearly. If you won’t take care of yourself, I will do it for you.”

“But Master, this could wreck my career. You know how much my work means to me, why are you doing this to me?”

“I know what your career means to you, but before anything else you are my slave. You knew the rules when you came back 2 years ago. I allowed you to continue with your career but I also warned you if it started to interfere with our life that there would be changes. I think you may find that if you slow down, and get some balance in your life that your project won’t feel as overwhelming and you will get more accomplished. You will start to prioritize things more, becoming more efficient. This is not a punishment slave, even though it may feel like one. Your health and our relationship are on the line here. I can’t sit back and watch you self destruct. It’s not going to happen.”

“Please don’t do this Master, I don’t understand. Why are you forcing me to choose between you and my work?”

“I’m not forcing you to do anything slave. You are mine. You don’t have choices. Perhaps I have been too lenient with you and you have forgotten what you are.You work because I allow it. I had no plans for anything but a discussion today but perhaps I need to remind you what that collar around your neck means. It is not just some pretty bauble; it is a sign of ownership. You are my property. I think it’s time you are reminded of that. Go lean over the edge of the bed I think I’m going to whip you.”

“But I thought we were going to…” I started to say.

“The discussion is over.” He said interrupting me, “we need to break the cycle and you need a reminder of your place. Apparently I have been too lenient with you lately. Now do as your told slave.” He said forcefully.

I stood up and walked over to the bed, bending my body in half waiting. There were so many thoughts and feelings running through my head. I kept repeating over and over to myself “he just doesn’t understand”, followed by “I’m just going to do what I need to do, who does he think he is, telling me what to do?” This last thought was interrupted by the sharp sting of the whip as it snapped the flesh on my ass.

Master couldn’t have timed that one better I thought and I sucked in my breath. The impact drove home the reminder of exactly who he is. He is my Owner this is what I wanted. What would I do if I truly had to choose between Master and my career? I had no idea. I didn’t want to think about it. I wasn’t even sure what I was going to do about these new rules. I was hoping we could talk about it some more later, when he was calmer, maybe I could get him to understand.

I heard the sound of the whip slicing through the air for its second strike before I actually felt the bite. I made the mistake of tensing at the noise making the impact worse. I hissed and buried my face in the blanket. Soon all thoughts of work and convincing Master that the new rules were too harsh left, all I could think about was the sting of Masters whip, and the multitude of sensations it awoke in my body; pain, warmth, arousal.

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