Saturday, January 3, 2009

Title Origins

Sometimes the internet sucks you in and won't let go - like today for instance. I just couldn't let this whole "you must call me Master" stuff I went on a fact finding mission.

I sometimes use Sir to address other Doms/Masters on boards as a sign of respect...sort of like calling someone Mr (fill in their last name), with people outside the bdsm community. Even though Sir is an honorific given to knights, it is also given to one of superior rank or status, which is quite fitting in the circumstances I use it in. Of course those Masters/Doms who are rude, and treat other peoples property as their own I don't feel deserve this respect or superior status. I wouldn't walk into someone elses house and start behaving as if it were mine, and I wouldn't expect someone else's pet to give me the same respect they give their owner....its the same thing.

Of course while on my search I came across the address of Mr. which is actually a shortened of the word Master, although most people think it is the shortened form of Mister, and so now the address of Master is now only used to address young boys under the age of 13. (Which is kind of funny if you think about it).

Of course as most of us know Master is also used as an honorific within the bdsm community to describe the Owner or dominant partner of a M/s relationship. On my random and quite useless search through the internet regarding these titles (can you tell I was bored today) I found this:

Usage of "Master" in most BDSM environs does not imply any specific expertise, abilities or formal training. Although the Master is understood to have authority over the slave in some sense, this never extends to one's legal rights and thus there must always be an implicit element of consent involved.

How nice of someone to realize that there needs to be an implicit element of consent for someone to be considered a Master, and since there is no implied consent on my part to those other than my Owner there should be no reasonable expectation of my calling them by that name.

I also liked this little tidbit I found....

To successfully maintain a Master/slave relationship takes abilities and skills beyond or apart from normal relationship skills.

I wonder what those other abilities and skills are? Rope tying 101, How to use a flogger?, How about where to strike your slave so it leaves the least bruises? (Or the reverse if you are into that).

Actually snarky comments aside I'm not sure I agree that maintaining an M/s relationship takes abilities beyond those of a vanilla relationship. I think it takes trust, open communication and some chemistry, not necessarily sexual chemistry either since not all M/s relationships are sexual in nature but that's a whole other topic.

None of these are necessarily a skill or ability beyond normal. So after I stopped laughing and thinking of funny skills or abilities that might be required and tried to formulate a more mature idea of what they were talking about, I found myself stumped. I just couldn't come up with anything that I thought of as an ability or skill beyond those of normal relationships that are needed to maintain an M/s relationship. If you can think of anything I'm all eyes.


MJ's Slave said...

To me, the ability to set appropriate limits and consistently enforce them is something i didn't find or look for in prior relationships. i think the limit setting is probably more specific in a M/s relationships as, (at least in O/our case), getting that piece of the equation is the most challenging.

Setting limits is something i work very hard around as a parent so i know how difficult it can be to set appropriate limits for those who count on you to keep them well as enforce them in a positive manner when they are challenged.

One could certainly argue that setting limits is required in any i am referring to a Master setting limits for his slave.

Just my opinion!

Masters slave said...

Thanks for sharing your opinion, as you said, limits may be required in any relationship. I believe that these limits may be established either consciously or unconsciously between two people. So I'm not sure that the limit setting is specific to M/s relationships.

I believe that the nature of the limits set by Masters for their slaves may be different than those of more vanilla relationships, but then again maybe not. Its hard to speak about what goes on between two people. I've heard some wild stories from some of my 'nilla friends!

I will agree that setting limits and enforcing them in a positive manner is very difficult. Almost as difficult to adhere to them! :)