A personal blog by a collared slave in an adult consensual Master/slave relationship.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
What does a slave do when she gets angry?
I have a temper I'm the first to admit it. When I get angry I get loud, and lash out. If I get very angry I explode. Its as if something comes over me and I can't quite get a grip on it until it has passed through my system. Its a problem. One that I have been working on for many years and while I have curbed it and can control it to a point once its reached that point I lose control.
Luckily Master and I don't live together and he hasn't witnessed that major melt down. We do like to debate though so he knows when he gets me riled up I get louder, more passionate about my point and more frustrated when I feel that I'm not being heard. That's when he dispassionately and in that no nonsense voices tells me to calm down. Which often doesn't work particularly the first time because that just annoys me more. Eventually I just huff and stop talking all together. Stewing to myself. Then we either have to switch topics or I need to wander away before I feel that crazy meter start to rise.
But those are just silly little debates they aren't things more personal to our relationship. We haven't really had a fight. I've been upset, we've talked and things moved on but I've never been angry, well at least not toward him. So what is a slave with a temper to do? Its not an easy thing to deal with in a vanilla relationship. As I've said, I get myself in trouble all the time when it comes to passionate debates, I get frustrated and I curse, which is a big no-no, then I get more frustrated because I know I'm breaking rules and yet I still feel like I'm not getting my point across. I can't imagine what would happen if it was something that was personal to me, actually I can imagine and it wouldn't be pretty.
Master has a temper himself, although it is rarely seen, and I can honestly say I've never seen it it full out, but I can see his frustration rise. I often wonder what would happen if our tempers both flared at the same time. WWIII is what I imagine. I guess its lucky we've never found ourselves in that situation. In the meantime I guess I just keep working, trying to find ways to keep my crazy meter from rising too much and not let the emotion overtake the reasoning side of my brain. Easier said than done I know.
In the business world I am an Executive, in my personal life I am a slave. Which is the "real" me? Maybe both.
This blog was started with the consent of my Master to share the dynamics of our relationship with those curious about the Master/slave lifestyle.
I've been writing fictionalized accounts of my life as a slave for many years and have been published in a variety of bdsm magazines.