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I applaud those people whose relationships are more important to them than how people will percieve them. As people evolve so do relationships. I think most bdsm relationships go through evolution. They change, waxing and waning as things come up, stress and family. It's hard to maintain a M/s relationship at all times. I think this is where the whole 24/7 argument comes in. Some believe you have to maintain the outward appearance of the M/s dynamic at all times, to me that's just not realistic. I will argue with Master get snitty and sarcastic, maybe even appear to be telling him what to do, but I also know when to back off (well usually sometimes I don't and then I get that real strict tone that reminds me to tone it down). Does this not make me a "real" slave. Who knows and really who cares. Master and I are the ones in this relationship and our definitions are what run it, not anyone elses.
I've always said that I think the M/s dynamic is more of a head game. Its how you feel. I don't need a physical collar around my neck 24/7 to know that I belong to Master. Apart, together it doesn't matter there is a connection. There were times where we were not each other's primary partners, but even then there was an undeniable bond that placed me at his feet. I know that sounds strange and is hard for most people to understand because we live in a monogomous society. I can't explain it, not sure I want to, or feel the need to. Its just the way it is for us.
So to those people who are going through growing pains, I say do what is best for you. I for one won't judge your decisions and hope you keep on writing.