Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus....

.....and Christmas wishes do come true.

While visions of sugar plums were not high on the list of fantasies dancing in my head over Christmas, visions of being bent over and disciplined were. I posted my Christmas wish here because I get shy about asking for things like this in person. (Its a bad habit that we are trying to break but I am still struggling with it.) Luckily Master agreed that it had been too long since his friendly crop had come to play and gave me a post Christmas surprise.

We spent a delightfully low key day together, running a few errands etc, but most of it was spent at his home. For the most part when we are in private I am kept naked although occasionally a pretty pair of panties will be allowed. Master likes to keep me accessible to his whim and I am happy to comply.

At some point during the day while happily worshiping his cock I heard a familiar whistle through the air but couldn't place it fast enough before the sharp sting that followed bit the right cheek of my ass. I gasped (which is hard to do with your mouth full) and then groaned with desire as the crop struck again. I was close to weeping from happiness as he continued his torment, but held back, I didn't want to distract him with my tears.

Being the little slut that I am, I repositioned myself so that I could continue my oral duty and Master had a better line of attack upon my ass, (I wouldn't want it to be inconvenient or uncomfortable for him to discipline me). Master apparently appreciated my position change because I heard the words that make my heart sing when I am in service "Good girl, such a good little slave aren't you?" I'm sure I wiggled in response, my arousal growing. Between the burning heat from his blows and the cock filling my mouth I was in heaven and at that point I couldn't imagine how the day could get any better. That is until he decided to use me as a cock ornament.

I slid down his length, my back to him so that he could continue to redden my ass, while he was buried inside me. My torment grew as I felt him filling me. Impaled on Masters cock, feeling him deep inside me while the crop snapped and bit at my backside was blissful torture. Occasionally Master would run an ice cold glass over my heated flesh making me squirm and cry out from the contrasting sensations. I could barely contain my emotions at this point, reduced to a shivering primal animal. I moaned, tears barely held in check, as I held back the orgasm that kept trying to escape. After what seemed like an eternity Master did allowed me to come several times leaving me quivering, bruised, sore, barely able to think and blissfully happy.

For the remainder of the day I continued to feel the heated tingle of the discipline I had received. It was a delicious reminder of my slavery and continues to be today, and if the bruises are any indication, will be for at least a few more days!

I hope everyone else had their wishes come true, I wonder if New Years has a similar magic to it?

Breaking Through

How do you serve when you feel miserable? I don’t mean physically sick, just mentally yucky. It’s tough to want to do anything when you feel depressed. I know I struggle with going to work, taking care of other obligations etc. All I want to do is curl up and hide from the world but if you’re a slave your options to hide away in misery may be limited. A Master can’t force a slave to be happy, no one can actually force another person to be happy, and you might think that expecting someone to serve when they feel this way is cruel but actually it can be quite liberating. It really depends on the situation and the Master.

For me, when I’m sad or depressed my libido suffers, my usually erotic thoughts dry up and I’m lucky if porn would make me wet. So the idea of serving sexually can sometimes be overwhelming, I mean who feels attractive when they have been crying for hours? But somehow my body reacts differently, to the sound of Masters voice. I’m not sure what it is but it’s like I’m hypnotized. I drift to this more calm state, which allows thought that would have made me cringe a moment ago seem not so impossible. It’s not the same level of reaction he would achieve if I wasn’t in this low place but the sound of his voice, the touch of his hand and suddenly things don’t seem as insurmountable and parts of my body that I thought would never come alive again decide they want to play.

Occasionally I will drift back into my head dragging out what made me depressed to begin with and they’re not always easy to push past. I’m sure when this happens I become a distant, and stop paying attention to what task I am supposed to be performing, but a tug on my hair, or a swat on my ass usually brings me back to the here and now.

Maybe that’s the key. Serving makes you live in the now, no past, no future, you have to focus on what is happening in the moment. In pushing everything aside you achieve what some people call “subspace” but what I feel is just a more meditative place that allows you to let go and surrender to either a person or to yourself.

Anyone can achieve it; it doesn’t have to be under sexual or bdsm circumstances. I’ve achieved this sensation alone in meditation, it’s a place where your mind slows down, and you surrender to just being. It’s incredibly peaceful, unfortunately it’s also difficult to achieve when you are wallowing in misery, that’s when it’s nice to have a Master who can ease you into that place without much coaxing. But that can also be a crutch and will eventually stop working. At some point it is up to you to pull yourself back from the edge, and find peace with what is plaguing you, so that you don’t slide back into the abyss.