There seems to be a lot of changes going on with people lately. I've been reading some other blogs and it seems that many people are renegotiating their relationships. Maybe it's the spring and time for renewal and the time people use to reevaluate or clean house so to speak. Who knows but its nice to see that people aren't just stagnant and staying in something because they feel they have to or holding on to a dynamic that isn't working for them any longer.
I applaud those people whose relationships are more important to them than how people will percieve them. As people evolve so do relationships. I think most bdsm relationships go through evolution. They change, waxing and waning as things come up, stress and family. It's hard to maintain a M/s relationship at all times. I think this is where the whole 24/7 argument comes in. Some believe you have to maintain the outward appearance of the M/s dynamic at all times, to me that's just not realistic. I will argue with Master get snitty and sarcastic, maybe even appear to be telling him what to do, but I also know when to back off (well usually sometimes I don't and then I get that real strict tone that reminds me to tone it down). Does this not make me a "real" slave. Who knows and really who cares. Master and I are the ones in this relationship and our definitions are what run it, not anyone elses.
I've always said that I think the M/s dynamic is more of a head game. Its how you feel. I don't need a physical collar around my neck 24/7 to know that I belong to Master. Apart, together it doesn't matter there is a connection. There were times where we were not each other's primary partners, but even then there was an undeniable bond that placed me at his feet. I know that sounds strange and is hard for most people to understand because we live in a monogomous society. I can't explain it, not sure I want to, or feel the need to. Its just the way it is for us.
So to those people who are going through growing pains, I say do what is best for you. I for one won't judge your decisions and hope you keep on writing.
Daily Mew #136
2 years ago